38 and reverse the damage I have done, to get my Bikini Body Back?

So recently I was photographed by my dear friend Cayenne from the Big Island the day before my 38th Birthday. Whenever we have the chance to hangout we usually bring our cameras (as we both are photographers), but rarely in front of the lens.

Over the past few years I have been struggling with my weight and knew I was likely not going to be happy with how I looked in front of the camera! Thankfully Cayenne's fun approach and magical eye she was able to make me feel comfortable in the moment and look good in the pictures.. Now when most of us people look at a picture of our self, we tent to critique with major criticism. I knew that before I looked at the images, I was not going to like seeing my big belly and double-chin in the pictures, I see it everyday in the mirror and feel it on my body every second!

So I have been saying for years "I'm going to go to the gym...", "eat better..." and "I want to be mentally and spiritually well..." why am I not seeing the results If I do all these things? well in my eye's its the consistency that I lack and not seeing any results in an instant! I think cause we live in an instant world and I can pump out edited images for my clients usually within a week, I in the back of my mind, want to see results instantly.

Now I Need To Be Realistic! I am now 38 and my metabolism is not where it was like in my teens and 20's, I can't always eat all the tasty treats anymore, I need to be strict like an elite athlete (like I was in my early Teens) and exercise daily with high intensity where I am burning Fat... I am a vegetarian since birth and I am fairly strict with it. I need to cut down on the amount to gains I intake as I usually feel sluggish afterwards (I'll have to get creative with my salad sandwiches, I just love them). Portion sizes and emotional eating is probably how I got to the size I am today!

I have always been an emotional person (it runs in the family), Its like a roller coaster! I'm extremely happy one day or one minute and then my mind wonders and I'm triggered by something that makes me feel like I have drowned and am trying to swim to the surface to catch a breath and yet I am being pulled back down... this is usually where I start eating - the feeling of being full and content in my stomach - sends signals to my brain saying "I feel good".

So Its time to reverse what I have done to my body over the last few years and live my Lifestyle I desire to have again... I will be setting myself goals with Weight-loss, Exercise programs, doing the outdoor activities I am good at - but not done for years/decades...

Motivation to stay strong and keep going is HUGE for me, so when you see me or read this I'd love to get words or affirmation, motivation and inspiration to keep up the good work!

I always do things well or better when doing it with others! Its the ex-competitive athlete in me 'always a competition' and I strive to achieve greatness. So... I need to compete with myself, and better my results from yesterday.. last week.. last month... I may not see results tomorrow, But I will progress! Eventually I should see and feel changes monthly, yearly and eventually live the optimal life feeling healthy, fit and beautiful!

👉Me 38, in the Red Dress is from September 2018 from friend Cayenne

👉Here are some pictures of me from my hey-days (collage years)... Its the inspiration I need, to know I have been there and I can get back to that look/level of wellness that will get me to my end goal!

👉Then there are more recent over the last few years where you can see the body mass changed to BIG!